Sunday, August 29, 2010

Stuff .....

Guess what?

I passed my driving exam !

Me, Debra, Li May, Nichelle.
They were just so nice and amazing !

I am still hating my new hair cut !

Anyway I am vry thankful to God that I passed.
I got a freakin woman tester !

And I heard from my instructor that 
if I got a woman to test me,
its just BAD LUCK !


So I had bad luck.

No Offence
but I really don't know why 
some Malaysians are so rude.

I entered the car and wished her (my tester)  a "Good afternoon".

She grumpily just shook her head and said " Drive."

Inside she scolded me for my steering skills 
and when I said sorry,
She just gave me that irritated face !

That woman had serious PMS
or menopause......


I mean really, just chill out !
I'm only a student.

Even after I left the car,
I thanked her and she ignored me.....

 yea... whatever....


I passed, and thats all that matters.
Screw her.


I have something sad 
which I have been thinking lately...

I realised that I'm not that close
to my family members...
as in my uncles, aunts, cousins etc ....


but most...
just because I can't talk Mandarin 
nor Cantonese fluently.
Yes I am "a banana"



Chinese + Does Not Know How to Speak Mandarin = BANANA   


Recently I went out with my workmates...
I really appreciated them suprising me with 
a birthday cake and all....... 

........but throughout the day,
I just felt so akward.

.....which was weird 
cuz while we were working and even after that,
we got together so well.....

We went for karaoke and I could not
read a single damn song in mandarin....

Even when they were talking,
I tried so hard to understand but I could
only grasp a little of the conversation....

Throughout the day, yea.... I felt like a stone.
Just stonning there....

To be honest, 
although I'm a Chinese, born in Malaysia........

I will never get the chinese language...

Its difficult,
Its confusing,
It annoys me sometimes.
It used to give me a headache.
I don't like the high pitchness of it.

...yet very saddening,
because without this language in Malaysia,
Its so hard to get along with people.

 So many people think I'm being snobbish
just because I'm Chinese yet don't talk mandarin.

I can't help it !!!!

I only learned it in kindergarten !
After that, I was enrolled into a private school.
No more mandarin classes.


But I still do have to thank this because 
if i was sent to a chinese school,
my mentality would be different.
I would be a different person today.

But still, I wished I still knew 
how to talk a little mandarin.

Its just saddening not being able to understand it.


And your friends not talking to u 
but among themselves....


Seeing them struggle to talk to me in English,
when I ask "So what did she say ?"
Gosh do you know how bad I feel?

To be honest,
yea... I am sad about this matter obviously.
But try putting yourself in my shoes....

A whole group surrounding u,
speaking a language which u barely can grasp.
You feeling isolated and LOST.

This post goes out to all the "bananas"....
I feel for u.

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