Vanilla T.

The stars lean down to kiss you.
And I lie awake, I miss you.
Pour me a heavy dose
of atmosphere.


I watch the night turn light blue,
But its not the same without you.
Because it takes two to whisper quietly.
The silence isn't so bad,
till I look at my hands and feel sad.


Cause the spaces between my fingers
are right where yours fit perfectly =)


But drenched in Vanilla Twilight,
I'll sit on the front porch all night long,
waist deep in thought
because when I think of u,
I won't feel so alone.

As many times as I blink,
I'll think of u tonight.

When violet eyes get brighter,
and heavy wings grow lighter
I'll taste the sky and feel alive again
And I'll forget the world that I knew,
but I swear I won't forget u

Darling I wish u were here.

xD
(grumpy face problem cat)

GOOD mood

Firstly,
I'd like to say a big
THANK YOU
to Mr. Mok for not giving any
assignments for today
and raising my blood pressure.
(Cuz I have not finished the previous ones)



Something weird has
been happening to my body system.
I've been having headaches,
flu, lethargy,
and JUST WANTING TO SLEEP spells.


I'm sleeping earlier and EARLIER !


THAT IS NOT NOT NOT NORMAL !
(for me)


I can usually do my work
from 12am-6am straight.
Right now I can't even last
after 2am.


I just have a bad feeling.
which is why it contributed to my
BLOOD TEST !

HOLY SHIT !!!!!!



I can't believe I
actually went for it.
I cringe at the sight of blood,
I'm scared of the sight of dead ppl,
bloody gore material,
violence.


I cannot tahan all this.
I get all weak and have the
urge to run away.
.
-
-
I can't even watch
those shows in National Geography
where the shark bites the man.




YUCK !!!!
how can u ppl stand to see such violence ?



Ok anyway,
back to my
experience at the blood
taking place.


DUDE U SHOULD HAVE
CHECKED OUT THE SIZE OF THAT NEEDLE !


All metal and sharp,
and long,
and a huge syringe,


MY FACE LOOKED
AS IF IT WAS CONSTIPATED FOR 7DAYS !


But it wasn't that bad.
I would always remember the
27.1.10
where I got my first blood test
=)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Btw I just heard
this soothing song while doing
my work.


Owl City- Vanilla Twilight


Its a sweet song =)
So I google-ed it up
and saw this image.

Meet Vanilla and Twilight.
-

If I ever have cute animals
in my house, I'll name it that
=D

I'm not feeling happy.

(Therefore I shall write what I want.)

hmmm.
I just re-read my
previous posts....
The ones where I was still 16.
and DAMN I must say I sounded
like an idiot.

By the way I talked,
whined and complained
and if I was reading someone's blog
by the style I wrote it
when I was sixteen,
I would not fancy her much.


Its shocking to see
what I was last time.
About those stuff
I wrote last time about the ppl
hurting me.....


I think its about time
I've forgiven all of u.
All of us have to move
on eventually instead of hating
the same person for the same mistakes
after all this years.

I mean cmon...
I'm sure u guys
have changed too.


Therefore, I forgive all of u.
(though I might not forget)


NO matter how much shit
and hurt u caused me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also would
like to take this opportunity
to forgive my ex FINALLY
although he caused me
the worst of all the pains
and made me
phobiatic of guys,
mistrust guys,
sick of guys,
disgusted by guys.


In a nutshell, I remembered
even telling my best friend
"hey, I think I'll go lesbian"


Through all this
pain and shit he put me
through, for making me
TRUST HIM SO MUCH then
runs off with another girl so quickly,
there were good memories too.
So I'll hold on to that =)


Do u remember the day
you told me,


"I know u hate me... so I'll disappear out of your life"

I used to get so angry
and hurt when u said that.


But I actually have to
thank u cuz it made the
wound heal faster..
Remember you said
'We'll still be friends though?"


I'm sorry but I can't do that.
The amount of hurt you
caused me
was seriously just unbearable.


I just felt so cheated by how
u could make me trust u
so much by getting angry
and telling me,
"I already told u B,
I won't find any other girls"
"owhhh u mean her?
She's just my friend la.
Very yong sui right?"

-
-

.........

What happened after that
really just broke my heart.
Like a knife stabbed right into
the middle of my heart,
ripped up and torn into so many pieces.
What I wrote above is
an understatement to the
real pain I felt.


For the first time
I could really feel my heart ache
physically and trust me
it was NOT heart burn.


For the first time
I felt like dying literally and
just wished I could sleep forever
so that the pain wouldn't
hurt so much.


Through all this suffering,
I'm still happy we didn't work out in the end.
U were right.
I was never meant to be with you.

U are so much more
happier now with your
new girl and I cannot be any happier
to see u happy now.
I was very surprised to
see u recently and
realise that my heart
did not even skip a beat.


That just proves that I really
have gotten over you.
So this long post here is
dedicated to u.
All the best in the future.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This next post here
is not about forgiving..............
Its about disappointment.
and I HAD TO GET IT OFF MY BACK.

Some stranger randomly
begun texting me.

SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FCUK
IS YOUR PROBLEM BY
GIVING MY NUMBER
TO STRANGERS????


U did not ask me for permission.
How disrespectful can u get????
Do u think its ok if I just
randomly give your number
to my friends?
owh wait, the sender even
told me he's NOT CLOSE TO YOU !


I DON'T GIVE A DAMN
if u gave it to him so that he can
make more friends or if he has any
other intention.


HE CAN'T BE SUCH A LOSER and
have NO FRIENDS
that you're giving him a
helping hand by giving him
my number without even asking me.


SERIOUSLY I'M SO $%^&* ANGRY
WITH YOU NOW.
U HAVE ANNOYED ME TO MY BOILING POINT
AND THIS JUST BLOWS IT !
I DON'T GET WHAT THE HELL
YOUR PROBLEM IS?

If this is part of your
revenge scheme towards me
then FINE. BRING IT MALE BITCH ! ITS ON !

I'm so disappointed in you.
I didn't know u'll bend
so low to this standard just
to get back at me.
Being even just friends
with you is a chore for me now.

now why............

Why am I so slow
to do my assignments?

1. I'M LAZY.
-
2. I like to go out hang kai.
-
3. I'm a freakin PERFECTIONIST !!!!!

=
=

I always want my work
to be good or I'll keep erasing
and redo-ing it.

and THATS SHIT !


I have to stop that or
I'm gonna be the slowest in my class
.........wait..........

I think I already am >_<

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now.....
why would I be stressed?
cuz I just finished drawing
8 faces and my lecturer
gave me 20 more.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

now.....
why would I be sad?

cuz my aunt is very sick =\
and the assignments I have
and my health condition.
(which is not good)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

ok Now i should stop with
the now now now.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I realised that
ppl nowadays are
very unappreciative.

They take things for granted
like their lives,
their friends,
their girl/boy,
their parents etc.

And when they are gone
they just regret and cry about it.
Seriously to this
kind of ppl,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I also realised
that the males in Malaysia are
not gentlemen .
(I'm not saying all...but most)



They don't hold doors for u,

they don't use the concept (ladies first)
AND THEY DON'T WAIT !


What I'm saying is that when
they are with their friends,
they don't care weather you
are walking beside them or not,
and only occasionally turn their heads
to see if u are keeping up.


They would go in the cinemas first
instead of holding the door for u,
they would rush for the seats
like little boys....

They would text their friends
when they are on a date.....

etc

Its so typical
-___-


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Physical appearence...
....is vry important.
You are a liar if u say it isn't
and that inner beauty is all that.


Humans are drawn to it.
We can't help it.

Why I'm stating this
is cuz
I'm vry dissapointed at this
particular person,
who dumped his
girl just cuz she looked mature
and he wanted a younger
sweet, cute look.


Now that is SO mean
and dumb of u.



Sacrificing a relationship
just cuz of her looks???
u are such a BUTT hole ...


....SERIOUSLY.


I'd like to share a lil fact
with those guys out there.
.....
cuz some of the beauties u see
out there are fake....



With her contact lens to make
her pupils bigger....
(Those kind of contact lenses DO exist)

With her hair extensions
and fake hair.

With her 7 layered make up

Don't even get me started
on the bodies as I
know some methods some
of them use.


AND

her 2 faced attitude !

In front of u,
she's the sweetest and cutest girl
with a halo above her head,
yea...
once she gets a bf later on,
lets see how she treats u
after that or to the girls.

or when u marry her and see her
EVERYDAY
with her make up off and
then u'll see the
real her.

and without her make up.


enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

gnite everyone ~

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Content above is strictly food
for thought
(not insulting anyone)

;)